The bill of the toucorn has long baffled scientists. While it is known to have been selectively bred by indigenous peoples to achieve the size and succulence present today, genetic testing reveals that the toucorn’s wild predecessor, the teofinchte, has a beak only a few grains long, and no one can quite figure out how anybody managed to breed such a splendid specimen from such unprepossessing beginnings.

(Yes. You read that right. I am making crop science jokes. I am just that geeky. And also I need to keep fooling with my new Painter until I am comfortable with it again.)