Wall painted, wall jewelry rehung.* Rearranged photos of Kevin’s kids. Glared at them. Cursed their cheap frames. Rearranged again. Put multiple nail holes in newly painted wall. Glared some more. Vowed that if I ever found the electrician who put the lightswitch, power outlet, thermostat and…whatever the hell that one thing is**…in an irregular rhombus on the wall, carefully arranged so that no two items line up on the horizontal or the vertical, I would tear his head off and urinate in the stump.***
"Kevin! Come tell me if this arrangement is acceptable!"
"It looks fine…"
"The other alternative is to let me scan them all, convert to grayscale, print them out at standard sizes and put them in white mats with black frames."
"….are you feeling all right?"
My attempts to convince him that this would look much better actually caused me to use the phrase "bourgeois sentimentality" without irony, proving that I probably need this trip to Arizona a little more than I thought. (But it totally would look better. I mean, you stop registering the content of the photos within two days ANYWAY, so they might as well carry some design weight while they’re hanging there.)
*Two barong masks, four coconut masks, a World Wildlife Fund calendar and a clock shaped like a fish made out of brightly colored wooden bits.
**Square plastic box. Looks important. There are bits of wiring inside. Possibly a cow-detector.
***If you are of an artistic or OCD bent, you will probably agree that this is too merciful a fate.