A) Otter is selling my pins at Otakucon with my permission! We’re buddies! We do different cons and occasionally pimp each other’s pins! Don’t accuse her of theft, I beg of you! She is a dear friend and would post bail for me in the small hours of the night. I would give her organs. (They might not be MY organs, but somebody’s.)
B) There are a handful of people in life whom, though they do not know it, live about six inches from being on my permanent all-time shit-list. This is not because they are bad people–in many cases they are fine people, and I like them quite a lot–it is because they are the Significant Others of friends of mine. And we are fine and good and I like them, and if they ever break those people’s hearts, then I will grow an extra head that belches fire and acid and vast batwings and fifty spork-wielding arms* and I will hunt them down and I will tear them into teeny tiny little pieces and then I will feed those pieces to the beagle.
It is not my tale totell, but somebody has just made that permanent shit list. I doubt highly that he reads my blog or cares, but in case there’s any crossover–dying in a fire is too good for you, you cringing mouth-breathing coward. I profoundly hope you live a long life with the sort of women you deserve.
Thank you. That is all.
*Possibly we have moved into the metaphorical here, but you just don’t know, do you?