Kevin is an awesome boyfriend.

By awesome, I mean that this morning, having just woken up, he stood on a stool in my studio, bareass-naked*, with a flashlight, peering into the back chambers of my Nanocube to see if he could spot Goby Bob, which I couldn’t. As neither of us can find Goby Bob, and he’s been MIA for two days, I suspect that he has gone to the great reef in the sky. (He appeared to have a touch of ich, but he was eating voraciously and displayed no signs of ill health, and gobies generally aren’t that susceptible.) Still, he’s a lurker, so all hope is not yet lost. About all I can do, without completely dismantling my rockwork, is keep checking water quality to make sure he’s not decaying somewhere and nuking the tank. However, both Tonga Bob and Crab Bob are designed specifically for this job, and so far, the water quality hasn’t changed a bit.

Nevertheless, you have to appreciate the dedication of the man in pursuit of a missing fish. (While Kevin loves all living things with a broad and indiscriminate love, there’s a difference between that and leaning over with your dangly bits within six inches of a live torch coral. I, uh, may have chosen not to mention the stinging tentacles until AFTER he was off the stool.) 

I suspect that this will make it into Stage 4 of his "Stages of Intimacy" columns, but for now, Stage 3 is live. (He also has to work in the "Checking Your Significant Other’s Urine For Gravel" achievement, which I unlocked last month, rather to my chagrin.) They’re always a fun read.

And now I’m noticing that his spellchecker made absolute hash of "Balinese." Bloody proper nouns…

(All the Stages of Intimacy columns can be found here)

*Both our robes are in the laundry at the moment. You never realize the utility of a bathrobe until it’s dirty…