So I went out to Food Lion to grab some popsicles, and some razors.

While I was wandering around the disposable razors, trying to decide whether I wanted Super Extreme Ubershave or Extreme Supershave Plus, Now With Bunnies! or whatever the cheapass pink one is, I saw this…stuff.

It was in an aerosol can, and said “High John the Conquerer Spray.”

I stared at it for awhile. I’ve heard of High John the Conquerer root, which is something that gets used in hoodoo,* but spray?

Complicating the matter, there was a can next to it in Spanish, with a picture of the virgin Mary, and a label which I’m pretty sure was “Virgin of Guadalupe Spray” or something similar.

Now, had this been over by the devotional candles, I would not have batted an eyelash, but the fact that this was in the haircare products had me a little baffled. Is this…like…religious themed shaving cream? Hairspray? Religious iconography for devout Catholics in handy aerosol form?

All knowledge is contained in fandom, they say–any of you guys know?

*I know this because I am a well-rounded individual, not because I have been making voodoo dolls in the basement. I own neither dried snakeskins nor black cat bones. Baron Samedi and I are only passing acquaintances. He wouldn’t let me crash on his couch or anything.