Driving back from picking up the last Harry Potter book, I got behind a silver minivan with one of those “Baby on Board” stickers.

However, in this case, the first B and the Y had been carefully removed. Since “Baby” had been centered on top, what remained said, quite neatly, “AB ON BOARD.”


Immediately, of course, my mind went into overdrive. Ab on board? Only one? Had the driver been in a terrible accident, rendering them five abs short of a sixpack? Was this sticker their way of coping proudly with this affliction?

Could they mean some other kind of ab? What else was there? Ab…ab…it’d be an odd abbreviation for abnormal…China Mieville had the lich-race called “ab-dead” but they were way too cool to drive minivans. There’s a type of exercise equipment called an Ab Board, but who gets excited enough about their exercise equipment to modify stickers for their van?

The minivan eventually turned off, leaving these unanswered questions in its wake.

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