There’s a squirrel hanging out on the back porch railing. Every time I look, he’s stretched out on his stomach at absolute full length, little paws under his chin in front, little hind feet sprawled out in back, soles up, tail stretched neatly along the rail. He looks like a flattened squirrel sausage being gently cooked on my deck. (It’s not actually that hot out–the sun is bright, but it’s cool and windy–so I don’t know what’s up with him.)

While I suspect that there are few yards in a hundred mile radius that would not have squirrels in them, I will miss Lumpy and Gimpy and Stumpy and Scarface and all the rest. However, I am hopeful that access to the lake greenway will mean a whole new class of defective wildlife. Perhaps even defective deer, defective bunnies, defective urban foxes! I can dream!

A few of you have suggested that the Defective Wildlife Vortex may be something I’ll carry with me. I guess we’ll find out…