For a coupla days now, I’ve had the song “Suicide is Painless” (better known as the M.A.S.H. theme) jammed tightly in my head. It’s not a bad song, per se, but it’d make Pollyanna want to slit her wrists. It’s there because Websnark mentioned it, not because I’m depressed, and it’s the sort of hideously invasive earworm that gets there and sticks hard.

Yesterday morning, I woke up humming the Nuckalavee song from “Bard’s Tale.” This A) proves my unfitness for non-geek society, and B) had a really unfortunate side-effect. Due to the rhyme scheme, which must be the earworm equivalent of compatible genitalia or something, the two songs mated.

Their offspring goes something like:

“Suicide is painless,
It brings on many changes,
O Nuckalavee, who set you free–
he really must be an anus!”

Kill me now.