Officer: Now, take your time and tell me exactly what happened.
Witness: Well, gee, officer, I was just walking my dog, Widdles, along the sidewalk, and then there was this scream, and a crazy woman came flailing out of house, brandishing garbage bags and screaming.
Officer: What was she screaming?
Witness: Something about “I AM TIRED OF LIVING IN SQUALOR! I’m cleaning the studio RIGHT NOW and Cons be damned!”
Officer: Go on.
Witness: Then there were a lot of screaming and thumping noises from inside, and a dead potted plant came sailing out and nearly hit Widdles, and the mat scraps came flying out so hard that one nearly went through the tree. And somebody yelled “BANZAI!”
Officer: Thank you, you’ve been very helpful. We’ll take it from here.