The Thing With All The Virgins

Okay, I’ve had about enough ‘o this.

Ever since 9/11, lo these many moons, “everyone” has “known” that jihadists think they’ll get a whole slew ‘o virgins when they pass this mortal coil. People who would spell mosque with a k and think Koran is a type of spice will state this factoid and their cronies will nod sagely. Of course. Everybody knows they’ll get seventy-odd virgins in heaven. That’s why they do it. People who are only passingly acquainted with their own religion nevertheless are up on the minutae of Islam, or at least the bit about virgins. Yep. Those virgins. That explains it. People’ll do anything for a virgin. Who wouldn’t want endless virgins everywhere?*

Me, I don’t know jack about Islam. I haven’t read the Koran, and I’ve heard it said that translations don’t do it justice. I’ve heard a few things, but nothing I’d restate as a Given Fact. If you backed me into a corner and asked me why suicide bombers happen, my speculation would run to high unemployment rates in Saudi Arabia (among others) leading to a lot of angry young men with no outlet for their energy, living in intense poverty, and a small percentage seeing how much better the West has it over ’em, getting overwhelmed and resentful, falling in with charismatic apocalyptic religious types (which Islam, god knows, has no monopoly on) and having what is presented as an emotional acceptable outlet in takin’ down the percieved enemy. I don’t know if that’s true, and I don’t doubt that there’s a lot more goin’ on there, since I’m a bloody white chick from the suburbs in the Western industrialized nations, and as I said, I don’t know jack about Islam, but were I backed in said corner, that’s where my speculation would at least start.

I would not begin and end with seventy-odd virgins. As an explanation goes, it strikes me as somewhat like “Hey, those Christians! You know why they’re so keen to be fed to lions, they think that when they go to heaven, they’ll get a harp.” Um. Quite. I suspect that there’s a leeeetle more going on here.

And this leads me, O dear readers, to y’all. You guys are awesome. I have mentioned mare’s eggs and had diagrams delivered within the hour. I have mentioned a book I read once, there was something about a witch and noodles, and Amazon links appeared by the score. I have posted blurry photos of all manner of fauna and gotten nomenclature, links, breeding habits, and how to prepare them for dinner/rid the house of them/set up a little house for them. So I figure that somebody’s likely to know, what the hell is up with this virgin stuff. And if they’re right or wrong, an approximation of the truth may come out in the wrangling.

So, uh…anybody know what the heck is up with that virgin thingy?

*Presumably anybody interested in getting a good blowjob, but we’ll pass on this line of speculation for the nonce.

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