I should be working. Actually, I am working. However, I must interrupt my work to present the following appalling truth to the world.

Bottlecaps. I love ’em. I drink enough Coke to singlehandedly keep a third-world country oppressed, and some of my favorite candies are gummi cola and Bottlecaps, because they pander to this Cokelust of mine.

The problem is that the cola (or maybe root beer) flavored Bottlecaps are rare. I would open a pack, and start munching through them, and I’d frequently go through two or three mediocre grape or orange, and pick past far too many of the thoroughly disgusting cherry to get to the delicious brown cola ones.

Being a trusting and not overly paranoid soul, I always assumed that there were an even number of all the flavors, and that I was merely projecting the lack of brown Bottlecaps because those were the ones I wanted. There weren’t more cherry, it just seemed that way because even one is too many.

Today, however, James suggested I simply dump the pack into a bowl, pick out the brown ones, and HE would eat the less desireable flavors. So I did. And that was when I uncovered the horrible truth.

Brown — 4
Orange — 5
Grape — 7
Cherry — 10

My god! There really ARE less brown ones! They’ve stuffed the tube with the noxious red death and withheld the desireable brown! I’m not crazy!

The world must be told.