Porn spam is outta hand.

I endured the hot hot naked naked throbbing giant breasted spines-of-rubber ads. I merely deleted, grumbling, the ones for farmyard fantasies and autophilia and ship sex (what the hell is ship sex? Two aircraft carriers getting intimate?) and anal erotica and things involving ten people, hardware, and a live chicken. I stared at the ceiling and shrugged when my in-box was flooded with ads for barely legal amateur video. I am mostly porn spam resilient. I have a delete button, and I wield it with an iron fist.

Just got one advertising public urination and hidden toilet cams. Now, this is too much. Leaving aside that if my thing was watching public urination, I would simply drive over to L.A. for a day or two, which is live, free, and mostly untraceable; leaving aside that I didn’t even want to know people found this erotic; even leaving aside that I will twitch the next time I use a public restroom–this is not good advertising. Spam is supposed to get a product to people who might want it. Larger penis ads are great, because there are tons of people who want a larger penis. Weight-loss ads are great, because most of us want to be thin. Hot naked women are even perfectly acceptable spam, because there are plenty of people who like hot naked women.

Mass spamming a fetish THIS SPECIFIC, however, is just dumb. It’s like a radio spot advertising that you have ’89 Honda Accord axles in stock–hardly anyone wants one, and if I need one, believe me, I’ll find you. No need to advertise. Likewise, if I need public urination porn, I will find you. If I need tentacle amputee schoolgirl-cow-morph hentai, I will find it. I do not need it delivered to my inbox. It’s a specialty item. People who want it will find it. Be on Google, and that tiny sliver of the populace who needs a hidden toilet cam to fill the void in their bathroom grafitti-riddled souls will find you.

And the rest of us won’t have to hear about it.