In Which I Make Jewelry For A Week

Actually, what happened was that I stumbled into a bead sale while trying to get supplies to fix a necklace of mine that broke, and possibly went a little overboard, because SATURATED COLORS and TEXTURES and…um….yeah. So then I had to DO something with the beads, and I was like “gotta make my own pendants, world does not need more necklaces with pendants from Michaels, and then…um…yeah.

Chicken petroglyphs. It…err…sort of just happened.

https://www.etsy.com/shop/RedWombatStudio

I have never sold on etsy before and I don’t know anything about it (though I’d quite like to add downloadable coloring pages at some point) so thoughts are earnestly appreciated! I also do not know how to take photos of stuff, so I just slung them over things in my studio and took them outside, which is why the saber-tooth tiger skull is modeling a bunch of pendants.

If any have sold by the time you get there, I’ll have like ten more up soon, I just wanted to start somewhere.

Apparitions

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Apparitions! He was so tired of all these damnable apparitions!

Inspired by the work of Gorey & Don Kenn, trying to figure out if I could get that pen-and-ink effect with my iPad…

Archives of the Ahistorical Society: Speaking Owl

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Transcript of office communication, notes, & loud yelling provided by Intern Brittany!



Sid.

Sid, what is this?

We went out after that owl. – Sid

I recall you going after the owl, yes.

It’s not a very nice owl. – Sid

According to the initial report, the farmer out that way said that it called every night, “The gods are gone, the gods have abandoned you, you cannot make new gods fast enough, all will fail and fall.”

Yeah, more or less. But it said it in a owl sort of way. Like it hooted “you” a bunch of times. And then it sort of sniggered. The farmer says it eats chickens. Marla wanted to run it over with the truck, but it was in a tree. – Sid

Marla has a somewhat single-minded approach to unexplained phenomenon. Now, did the farmer have any kids?

No? Well, uh, maybe? We didn’t ask. I mean, you don’t go around saying “Hey, we’re here about your evil talking owl, and by the way, have you fathered any children that might not be in the house?” Didn’t seem relevant. – Sid

Not quite what I was getting at…

Oh god, you don’t think the owl was his, do you? Like he had a horrible owl-baby and he kept it in the attic so people wouldn’t know and then it escaped and now it’s lurking around the farm mocking him? – Sid

Maybe the owl was his wife, like in Jane Eyre! – B

I…what…no.

It could be both! His owl-wife is in the attic having owl-babies and then one got loose and–

EVERYONE SHUT UP ABOUT OWL BABIES. I was trying to figure out why there’s a child’s scribble of an owl in this file!

Oh, I drew that. – Sid

I suspected as much, but hope springs eternal.

It was dark! We couldn’t take photos! So I did an artist rendering. – Sid

In the future, please just include a note with a verbal description.

But what are we going to do about the owl-wife in the attic? – B

The love between a farmer and an entirely hypothetical owl is not our business. Just file the…the thing. Please.



Artist’s rendering and transcript filed under “Hostile, Probably Not Extremely Dangerous But Someone Who Is Not Sid Should Probably Deal With It” by Intern Brittany!

Kevin vs. Killdeer

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When Kevin and I were in New Orleans a month or so ago, we were out birding and encountered this killdeer in a parking lot. It immediately set about convincing Kevin that its wing was broken. Really broken. SO BROKEN YOU GUYS.

Killdeer are, of course, justly famous for this trick. They do it to lure predators away from the nest. Kevin ambled after the bird with a camera and I watched them do a slow motion chase scene across the parking lot.

Eventually, having taken about a million photos, Kevin stopped. But the killdeer did not. There were four of us, but Kevin, rescuer of kittens, was clearly the menace. It was practically charging him waving its “broken” wing.

Kevin: No, I’m done, it’s okay.

Killdeer: MY WING IS SUPER BROKEN

Kevin: I have no interest in your nest.

Killdeer: THIS WING, RIGHT HERE? I BROKE IT IN THE WAR. TWO WARS. SEVEN WARS. SO MANY WARS.

Kevin: I’m starting to feel weird about this, bird.

Killdeer: AAUGH LOOK NOW MY OTHER WING IS BROKEN TOO

Kevin: …

Killdeer: I WILL RUN A LITTLE WAY AND FALL OVER WAVING MY BROKEN WINGS THE PAIN THE PAIN

Kevin: I’m not going to chase you.

Killdeer: YOU HAVE TO CHASE ME MY WINGS ARE BROKEN ALSO I BELIEVE MY LEGS ARE GOING

Kevin: This is just sad.

Killdeer: I BELIEVE I AM ALSO ON FIRE

Kevin: You’re still going.

Killdeer: THERE IS NO PAIN LIKE THIS PAIN PLEASE STEP A LITTLE FARTHER THIS WAY I AM SURELY ABOUT TO BE CAUGHT AT ANY MOMENT

Kevin: Fine, if it’ll make you happy.

(Kevin ambles after Killdeer)

Killdeer: JUST A LITTLE FARTHER…A LITTLE BIT FARTHER AND SURELY I WILL STOP RUNNING AWAY DID I MENTION THAT MY WINGS ARE SUPER-BROKEN?!

(Kevin, camera in hand, stumbles onto a group of King Rail chicks in the ditch)

Rail Chicks: AAAAAAAUUUUUUGGGHHHHMONSTER

Kildeer: AHAHA DEVOUR THEM, MY ENEMY, WHILE I FLEE BACK TO MY CHILDREN ON MY MAGICALLY HEALED WINGS

Kevin: …that bird is a jerk.

(Photo by Kevin)

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