Kids, if you want me to fill out a survey for your class project, I am generally willing to accomodate…even the career surveys that clearly have nothing to do with art whatsoever…but don’t leave it until the last minute! If you send it to me and you need it by tomorrow, you will not get the good answers.

You will get the true answers.

These do not look good on your project. Trust me.

1. In the position you now hold, what do you do on a typical day?

I get up, I fool around in the garden for an hour, I spend a half hour on the internet answering e-mail and reading up on things, I paint for a few hours or write for an hour or so and then paint. Then I take a nap.

2. What are the most interesting aspects of your job?

I am very fond of the nap.

5. How long does it usually take to move from one step to the next in this career path?

Well, there’s not really a step, per se. It’s not like you get promoted from artist to mega-uber-artist. You just keep working and hopefully your work makes more money and gets broader recognition. It’s a lifetime process. You’re a starving artist, then a successful artist, then a dead artist.

6. What is the step above the one you now have?

Death.

7. What is the top job you can have in this career?

Successful artist (followed by dead artist.)

9. What are the basic prerequisites for jobs in this field?

Being able to draw. Being able to work very hard without somebody driving you. Having no god before the deadline.

11. What entry level jobs qualify one for this field?

Starving artist.

13. What are the salary ranges for various levels in this field? (Some fields, for example, have high starting salaries but level off early in the career path; others may start lower but have much higher top-level salaries).

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

(ahem.)

This is a non-salaried position.

14. What aspects of a career in this field do you consider particularly good? Particularly bad?

Naps good. Lack of health insurance bad.

15. What special advice would you give to a young person entering this field?

If there is anything else you can do and be happy, do it. If the art has to be made, though, and you have to do it, it’s a hindbrain function, go into art now while you’re young and can live on ramen.

  • reply Wandering Hedonist ,

    If only my teachers could have been so straightforward with me about careers when I was young… Thanks for the laugh!
    Also, I might as well mention that I’ve been an admirer of you for years. Your work is amazing and so inspiring!

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