Had a hellish, and vivid nightmare that something had gone wrong with my heart, and the medical device to fix it was some kind of harness on my chest that led into dozens of tubes going through my veins. The tubes ended in needles, which were supposed to go into other veins, but something was wrong, and every time I moved, the needles in various areas started poking out through the skin.

This was both horribly unpleasant and frightening, because these things were supposed to be carrying my blood! Was that one that kept coming out in my leg going to my femoral artery? Good god, why was this happening? So I kept jamming them back in, and that was even worse. They were coming out all over, and I was trying to tell the doctor, who for some reason just wanted me to pose for a Wizard of Oz photo shoot to send to another sick patient. I question her medical credentials.

This dream was also notable for the world’s worst lesbian sex. I have occasionally had lesbian sex in my dreams, my heterosexuality notwithstanding, and it was as unremarkable and ultimately frustrating as straight dream sex–feels like it should be getting somewhere, but no, and eventually your partner wanders off and the walls dissolve and you’re left going "Dude! I don’t care if we’re on the subway, don’t leave me hanging!"  This, however, was a non-starter, in that I found myself in bed with a nude woman on top of me and having to say "Um. No. Sorry. I didn’t realize this was what you were getting at. It’s really not you, but you’ve got nothing I’m interested in down there. Boy, this is gonna be awkward tomorrow, huh?"

I was very glad to wake up. It is one of those grey autumn days when the leaves are brighter than the sky, and it may take more than Earl Grey with orange blossom honey to shake this dream.