So I’m taking a shower, and I have completed all of the standard grooming tasks, and try this new exfoliating goop that I picked up.

In my on-going commitment to try and look good–after all, if you look good, you feel good, and sooner or later somebody’s bound to notice, right?–I started using various such goops, since if the literature is to believed, all woes of the skin can be addressed via exfoliation. It will smooth your skin, prevent ingrown hairs, firm your flesh, remove dead flakes, cure psoriasis, give a healthy glow, prevent wrinkles, confer immortality and allow you to understand the secret language of chickens.*

I tried a loofah, but I dunno. The goops are more fun. The problem I run into, of course, is that one goop might as well be like another. I have not noticed that any particular variety causes my skin to suddenly glow like a pearl from a Three-Mile-Island oysterbed, so I’m basically going by texture and smell. I haven’t found one that smells like cinnamon and clove yet, as my favorite soap does, so I just pick them up at random and give it a whirl.

The latest variety is lavender, sage, and Dead Sea salt. The large chunks of salt, while probably not doing much on a chemical front, are at least a fun scratchy texture–the scratchy and the smooth is a neat textural contrast, and as those who follow my art are probably aware by now, I am AllAbout The Textures. Smells okay, although I’d prefer something spicier than sweet. (Really, I’m more of a musk than floral type.)

Anybody got any recommendations?

ETA: Okay, for the descriptions ALONE I must mention this site. I have no idea what the stuff is like, but man…Villainess  (I wanna be an Antihero! Why does smelling like leather and cigarettes sound so appealing when they say it?!)

*Bawk bawk-buck-bawk.