I find myself weirdly cheerful tonight. The depression is still there, a disturbingly real/unreal physical presence–instead of a phantom limb, I’ve got a phantom anvil–but I’m sort of freakishly cheery under it. It is a complex emotion, and I don’t want to examine it too closely for fear of spooking it off. Still, I had […]
Monthly Archives: September 2007
Still alive here. The meds still have me feeling faint more or less all the time, and I’m still not hungry, and pretty queasy in the mornings. Other than that, though, I feel fairly normal–no weird detachment, no sense of the flu. No movement on the depression front, but I’ve still got another two weeks […]
Not feeling too bad today. Still annoyingly faint, still no sense of hunger, but not quite as badly detached from reality. No serious impact on my mood yet, but since returning to Raleigh, I haven’t felt the need to collapse into a weeping heap, so overall, could be a lot worse. Deb’s parents and brother […]
Another day, another side-effect! I didn’t feel as generally lousy today as yesterday. What I did feel was faint. As a sensation, it was pretty much identical to when you haven’t eaten in long enough that you’re weak and shaky. Lots of faint muscular tremors, mild queasiness, vague desire to put back of wrist to […]
“Whoa! Is THAT what a hot flash feels like?” …man, menopause is going to suck.
It’s funny. I am a pretty damn intelligent woman, by most measures–sure, I’m Captain Oblivious, sure, my friends seem oddly fixated on not letting me walk into traffic, sure I take a hint about as well as a charging rhinoceros, but still! And yet, sometimes… Now, as I’ve said, for the longest time–weeks, going on […]
Hello from the lands of the medicated! Following a visit to the doctor, I am now on something called Effexor XR.* Side effects include everything. Likeiy side effects of this class of drugs, however, are weight gain (awww) and loss of libido (arguably a mixed blessing at this point) but she hastened to point out […]
I’m not going to say everything happens for a reason, or everything works out for the best. I am much too cold and logical and skeptical and even if I wasn’t, saying things like that is just asking for the fates to smack you upside the head. Sometimes that which does not kill us leaves […]
Whew. A restless night, a blessedly uneventful flight, and I am back in Raleigh again. I can’t say that I had an urge to break into song as soon as we touched the tarmac, but there was a definite loosening in my chest. I don’t know if it felt like coming home exactly–I’ve moved too […]
A long day today. The car got shipped, and I had nothing much to fill the day. I didn’t realize that driving was so much a balm until I wasn’t doing it. Instead I slept a good bit, read part of “Lisey’s Story” by Stephen King (and why, god, was this the one book I […]