So there I was, in the parking lot of Staples, bending over to shove my purchases into the back of my faithful Nissan, when it happened.

The ripping sound. The jagged tear of denim. The sudden sense of my hind end being rather better ventilated than before.

The sensation was both horrifying and immediately familiar, despite the fact that I’ve only had it happen a few times in my life.  The seat of my pants had just ripped.

“Son of a bitch,” I thought, groping frantically behind me, and discovering a truly spectacular tear. The jeans hadn’t just ripped, they’d practically committed suicide. “I just bought these two months ago, they’re not even tight, goddamn shoddy craftsmansh–“

A second, rather more desperate thought intruded, as my brain brought it to my attention that I was, in fact, wearing thong underwear.* For a minute, all I could think of was the Calvin and Hobbes where Calvin tears his pants and thinks “Of all the days to wear the underwear with the little rocket ships on them…” This was cathartic, but not particular helpful.

Well, life is full of these little crises. I straightened up. I turned. I carefully did not look to see if anyone had seen me, because damnit, there are things I don’t want to know. I set my back to the car and inched around it, opened the door and wedged myself backwards into the driver’s seat. I had other errands to run, but suddenly they didn’t seem all that important.

Into every life, a little rain must fall…

*Don’t knock it, it’s rather surprisingly comfortable.

44 thoughts on “

  1. Lamar Dunleavy says:

    Oh and I’m not a Liverpool or Chelsea supporter, nevertheless the way the Liverpool fans were still singing You’ll Hardly ever Walk alone when their team was losing and the game was almost finished was lovely. Big respect.

  2. Excavator says:

    Hello there! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog. Is it hard to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty quick. I’m thinking about setting up my own but I’m not sure where to start. Do you have any tips or suggestions? Thanks

  3. kamienitarstwo says:

    My wife and i were really joyful that John could round up his research through the entire precious recommendations he came across from your very own blog. It is now and again perplexing to just be giving freely guidelines that some people may have been trying to sell. And we all discover we now have the writer to give thanks to for this. The entire illustrations you have made, the simple site navigation, the friendships you can help create it is most fabulous, and it’s really helping our son in addition to our family imagine that that topic is entertaining, and that’s especially serious. Thank you for all the pieces!

  4. WildStar power leveling says:

    Thanks for your posting. One other thing is when you are advertising your property all on your own, one of the troubles you need to be aware about upfront is how to deal with property inspection accounts. As a FSBO home owner, the key concerning successfully shifting your property along with saving money about real estate agent revenue is understanding. The more you realize, the simpler your home sales effort might be. One area exactly where this is particularly crucial is home inspections.

  5. Grilling BBQ debate divides Britain says:

    I’m impressed, I have to admit. Genuinely hardly ever need to i encounter a weblog that is both educative and entertaining, and let me tell you, you might have hit the nail regarding the head. Your believed is outstanding; the problem is an element that inadequate people are speaking intelligently about. We’re delighted we stumbled across this at my hunt for a thing relating to this.

  6. roofing baltimore md says:

    I am starting up a new online website directory and was wondering if I can submit your blog? I’m trying to mature my directory little by little by hand so that it maintains good quality. I’ll make sure and put your blog in the appropriate category and I’ll also use, “Tea with the Squash God” as your anchor text. Please let me know if this is ok with you by e-mailing me at: [email protected]. Thanks!

  7. Anastacia Crompton says:

    Hello merely wanted to create you a quick heads cheery. The words in your send seem to be running rancid the screen in Search. I’m not sure if this is a formatting deliver or something to accomplish with browser compatibility but I figured I’d send to let you know. The describe look enormous though! Hope you get the issue resolved before long. Cheers

  8. Additional Info says:

    We stumbled over here by a different website and thought I should check things out. I like what I see so i am just following you. Look forward to looking into your web page yet again.

  9. eCommerce Investments Europe says:

    Good day! This is kind of off topic but I need some guidance from an established blog. Is it very difficult to set up your own blog? I’m not very techincal but I can figure things out pretty fast. I’m thinking about creating my own but I’m not sure where to begin. Do you have any ideas or suggestions? Appreciate it

  10. Emmanuel Gupton says:

    Good post. I learn one thing more challenging on different blogs everyday. It should always be stimulating to learn content material from different writers and observe a bit of one thing from their store. I�d desire to make use of some with the content material on my weblog whether or not you don�t mind. Natually I�ll give you a hyperlink in your web blog. Thanks for sharing.

  11. friv says:

    I truly enjoy looking through on this web site, it contains fantastic articles. “And all the winds go sighing, For sweet things dying.” by Christina Georgina Rossetti.

  12. Candy Madruga says:

    After study just a few of the weblog posts in your web site now, and I truly like your way of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site checklist and will probably be checking again soon. Pls check out my web site as effectively and let me know what you think.

  13. earphones says:

    This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I’ve joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your wonderful post. Also, I’ve shared your site in my social networks!

  14. Suggested Web page says:

    Right here is the right blog for everyone who would like to understand this topic. You understand a whole lot its almost hard to argue with you (not that I personally will need to…HaHa). You certainly put a new spin on a subject which has been discussed for many years. Excellent stuff, just great!

  15. Going Here says:

    Everything is very open with a really clear description of the issues. It was definitely informative. Your website is very useful. Thank you for sharing!

  16. Continuing says:

    Throughout this grand pattern of things you actually secure a B- just for effort. Exactly where you confused us ended up being in all the facts. You know, they say, the devil is in the details… And it couldn’t be much more true right here. Having said that, let me tell you what did do the job. The authoring can be very persuasive and that is possibly why I am taking an effort in order to comment. I do not really make it a regular habit of doing that. 2nd, although I can easily see the leaps in reasoning you come up with, I am definitely not confident of exactly how you seem to connect the ideas which make your final result. For right now I shall yield to your point but trust in the near future you link your facts better.

  17. first aid certification online says:

    I really love your website.. Very nice colors & theme. Did you make this site yourself? Please reply back as I’m planning to create my own site and would love to learn where you got this from or exactly what the theme is called. Cheers!

  18. visit website says:

    Do you mind if I quote a couple of your articles as long as I provide credit and sources back to your webpage? My blog is in the very same niche as yours and my users would truly benefit from a lot of the information you provide here. Please let me know if this okay with you. Cheers!

  19. led lights says:

    I actually wanted to jot down a brief remark to become able to express gratitude to you for all of the splendid items you happen to be posting right here. My incredibly long world wide web investigation has at the end been compensated with reasonable points to exchange with my colleagues. I would tell you that numerous of us readers really are undeniably lucky to exist in a remarkable internet site with many perfect men and women with really useful tips. I feel genuinely grateful to have used your entire website and appear forward to some a lot more excellent minutes reading here. Thank you once more for any large amount of items.

  20. candy crush cheats says:

    Hi there! This blog post couldn’t be written any better! Looking at this article reminds me of my previous roommate! He continually kept preaching about this. I’ll forward this article to him. Fairly certain he will have a good read. I appreciate you for sharing!

  21. discount pet says:

    Hi there very cool blog!! Guy .. Excellent .. Superb .. I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds also¡KI am glad to seek out a lot of helpful info right here in the publish, we want develop extra strategies on this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .

  22. click for source says:

    I love your blog.. very nice colors & theme. Did you make this website yourself or did you hire someone to do it for you? Plz respond as I’m looking to construct my own blog and would like to know where u got this from. cheers

  23. snort this says:

    I do not even know how I finished up right here, but I thought this put up used to be great. I do not know who you are however certainly you’re going to a famous blogger for those who aren’t already 😉 Cheers!

  24. seo says:

    An outstanding share! I’ve just forwarded this onto a colleague who has been conducting a little homework on this. And he actually bought me lunch because I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So allow me to reword this…. Thanks for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending some time to discuss this matter here on your blog.|
    seo http://www.singaporeinfocomm.sg/

Leave a Reply