Every now and then I get a comment that says something like “You’re very talented, congratulations.”

I am always a little baffled by the congratulations. I’m touched they think I’m talented, of course, but congratulations are…I dunno…something else again. You congratulate people on graduating or having kids or buying a house or succeeding at something, not for just…y’know….existing. I mean, I’m grateful for the praise, it’s nice of them to take time to say anything at all, but…the phrasing rings oddly to my ear. I’m not sure if it’s an English-as-second-language thing–that’s definitely a nuance, god knows–but I know I’ve seen it more than once.

On the other hand, I can see a lucrative market for congratulations-on-your-existence cards. I’ve always seen greeting cards as basically a quick way to say “I acknowledge your existence!” anyway, so we could just strip away the trappings. Oo! And a spin-off of “congratulations-on-your-continued-existence” cards for people who, say, walk away from a nasty wreck, or live through dangerous surgery or something! Tasteless? Well, sure. But c’mon! It’s greeting cards! Why not a hamster mopping sweat from his brow and saying “Whew! Glad you made it!” Or a picture of a hamster being shot, and on the inside, when he discovers his Zippo has saved his life, “Dodged a bullet there!”

The possibilities are endless, AND tacky! What more could one want?

See, this is the crap I think of when I’m running off prints and can’t do anything art-heavy.