I had a complicated dream about arranged marriages and train rides across endless deserts, all of which was thoroughly derailed by going into the theatre on the train to watch “The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly,” and discovering that it was now a zombie movie.

Since I quite like that movie, and used to watch it with my dad as a kid–he was a big Clint Eastwood fan– I was quite aware that something was Not Right about this. For one thing, while I knew they got captured by the Union soldiers at one point, I distinctly failed to recall that the Union planned to force them to kill zombies in an infested town and then shoot them when they got infected. I’m pretty sure there was something about a bridge instead. Also, my brain missed a really stellar chance to retitle it “The Good, The Bad, and the Undead.”

Now I want to go watch westerns. Damnit, all these cable channels, a zillion romance and soap opera and shopping channels–why isn’t there a Western Channel?

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