I am, as many of you may have guessed, just a trifle grumpy on the subject of organized religion. A tad. A smidge. Try to hide your shock.

I am also not terribly fond of telemarketers, a trait I share with the vast majority of the rest of the world who have phones.

So when the phone rang, and I picked up to hear a recorded voice telling me, with sonorous excitement, to hold for information about a Great New Church in My Area, my disbelief knew no bounds. As I hung up, I thought “My god! If somebody’s not part of your religion, what in the name of bunnies do you expect to gain by pairing up with one of the great banes of our time!? People HATE telemarketing! The Do-Not-Call lists were one of the most popular bills across the board! What could you be THINKING?”

Dude.