Okay, okay…I resisted for quite awhile, but here’s the 10 things I have done (or had happen) that probably nobody reading this has done meme, which will undoubtedly just prove that my readers are at least as weird as I am and have done it all, too.
1. Was born on a naval base in Yokosuka, Japan.
2. As an infant, a sheik offered my mother twelve camels for me in the Cairo airport.*
3. Assisted in de-scenting a ferret (mostly by holding stuff, and later, an unconscious ferret, which incidentally takes “limp” to an entirely new level.)
4. Had a summer job feeding and watering upwards of 3K rats.
5. Took acid and discovered that the only thing on TV was the televised funeral of Richard Nixon and a seemingly never-ending Green Day video, precipitating a chain of events in which I met god. Well, a god.
6. Painted a book cover from scratch in two days as a favor to a desperate art director.
7. Maintained a webcomic for two years (or 180 pages, or probably close to a thousand individual drawings of wombats, if you count all the ones outside the comic too, whichever.)
8. Cut a check for $800,000 dollars. (It was on an insurance fraud claim, with nobody in the company able to check my work. I thought, briefly, “Christ, it’s a good thing I’m honest…” and then, somewhat less briefly “Christ, I hope my math is right.”)
9. Attained fifth-kyu rank in the sword art iaido. (It’s the lowest rank, people, they didn’t even let me handle sharpened objects. It still took a year.)
10. Wandered lost through downtown Detroit, desperately seeking allergy medication, and lived to tell the tale.
I hold out hopes that #2 may be unique, but the rest, I bet SOMEBODY has done…
*I strongly suspect this was a game of “Let’s Freak Out The White Tourist Chick!” rather than a serious offer of camellage, mind you, granted that it was the seventies. My stepfather claims that I have appreciated significantly in value and am now worth twelve camels and a chicken.
